The feeble minds of aging North American men in relation to understanding Central American culture
I was reading the analysis of a few North American men in another site with relation to Central American men and had to laugh at the levels of naivety. Here is a snippet of the conclusions at least one has reached that amused me to no end.
"Actually it has been my experience that most Latin males are better at courting, "wooing", and or seducing Latin women or actually women in general. IMO, the previous is due to their mothers being the main presence in their lives, they are more adept at superficially pleasing and flirting with a woman than most Gringos are. It is a cultural thing. We have all heard the phrase "Latin Lover", but I have never heard the phrase "Gringo Lover" or "WASP Lover" and there has to be a reason for that."
Now, as much as I would love to believe Latin American men have this sexual prowess from RGV AG' statement on the TRN site, I have to admit that I was doubled over in laughter having read this analysis . As a Latina, my experience with the so-called "Latin Lover" has been as varied as my experiences with any other culture, including North American Anglos. Latino lovers come in all degrees of experience and proficiency "wooing and seducing women." Some are quite adept at it and others have the emotional maturity of a junior high school prepubescent boy, almost fearing women to such an extent that they have a gender phobia.
The reasons for this in many cases may be historical, because throughout history machismo, which is known to have originated uniquely in Spain and carried over the Atlantic Ocean during the Spanish Conquest; was not an indigenous tradition. Mesoamericans were traditionally a matriarchal society, where women were valued until the Spanish Conquest. Women continued to bear a major responsibility for the culture even after it was driven underground by Spanish priests. Because of this stilted view of women brought over by the Spaniards, socioeconomic classes were linked to “whiteness,” which with rape and denial of "bastard" children created machismo. Thus many Latino men over 50 still harbor a high degree of machismo, while newer generations have a more advanced view of women.
Read more: Machismo - Bibliography
In the following link, you will see that prevailing machismo attitudes tend to increase with age and decline with youth, which has been my experience as well. So if a woman dates a man over 50, she is almost twice as likely to deal with ancient attitudes as dating a man in his 20's. And that is exactly what many of my friends and I have noticed as well. And this reflects about the same age categories as machismo in North American cultures as well. Quite simply, it is the dinosaurs of most cultures who still value machismo, and the youth who finds it somewhat outdated even in young men in North America:
See the question above the graph here and the age groups who value machsimo.
"The survey results show that there is a systematic disjunction between men and women on this issue across all age groups and socio-economic levels. It is the traditional role for the male to provide for his wife and children. But with the social, political and economic upheavals of this century, women are receiving more schooling and entering the labor force. The macho man then feels that he is inadequate because he is unable to provide for his family, "like a real man." But the issue extends far more beyond an economic one in which a woman's earnings allow her great negotiating leverage vis-à-vis her husbands and male relatives. "With women working outside the home it's not just a question of them having their own money now, as important as this has been. What's also involved is that women have met all sorts of different people, which has changed them forever. And this has meant that the men have changed, for if they don't, more and more they're getting left behind by women." (Gutmann, p. 239).
RGV AG of the TRN site goes on to say:
"Most women I know in Latin America really do not complain to(sic) much about Latin male's performance either. What I base my opinion on is the follow through after the passion, lust, and romance. Obviously, and forgive me for generalizing, there are wonderful men, true and worthy men in Latin America. What I was stating is that due the culture, or poverty, or society, or a combination of the previous and all of the above the chances for a dead beat seem to be higher in Latin America. A big part of that, and this is my opinion, is that the initial nuclear family never truly turns loose of children, especially the males as they typically don't come with as much baggage or complications and can be counted on for extended financial support."
There is even more humor in that statement if one has lived among Latin males of today. For one thing, due to migratory patterns of Latin American men, there is often less dependence upon the nuclear family today, than ever before. This has resulted in the formation of pandillas or gangs, and so many other behaviors that reflect "baggage" in Latin culture. And the offshoot of these behaviors is that in many cases Latin women have turned outside the culture to seek qualified partners for marriage, and many have discovered little difference in the cultures and come BACK to Latin men as the result; realizing these behaviors are not necessarily culturally based, but gender based.
I believe North Americans like RGV AG of the TRN site base their naive assumptions on poorer communities and generalize that the behavior of the princesses of poverty who give them the time of day are relational to all Latin women and that is probably the most humorous thing of all. Having grown up around Latin women and many migrants, I've heard so many hilarious stories about the performance of men (Latino and Anglo alike) that his assumptions that we "do not complain too much about Latin male's performance" REALLY had me howling. Apparently, he has never seen shows in Spanish channels where women from all over Latin America are complaining about just that! I also find it ridiculous that men who have aged into their forties and suddenly arrive in Latin America with about 5 to 10 years experience dealing with peripheral edges to the culture, suddenly become experts on our culture, especially when they don't even speak the language. One wonders where they explore these preconceived notions if they can't even communicate effectively with people in the region, and especially when they only tend to surround themselves with the poorest people of the region. Is it based on the feelings of aging Latinos, who are still victimized by machismo attitudes? Is it based on the women they exploit who will tell them anything to get into their pocket books?
I shared the TRN site and my post with many of my Latina friends...people who grew up inside the culture, still have family there, and they were as amused (and disgusted in many cases) as I was. They felt these old leathery men were justifying their own prejudices and ignorance by making blanket statements that came across extremely xenophobic to my Latin friends. Why would that be, if these men's "truths" weren't so odd to us? There are any number of books out there, written by Latinos who are familiar with our culture that prove these types of statements as incorrect. Do any of these aging relics ever read?
This is why I think the idea of some of these sites is ridiculous. When a person moves to a new country and brings their xenophobic interpretations to the rest of the world it should be addressed. And when it is based on a tendency towards pedophilia, one has to wonder why we listen to them at all. Because as the news has broadcast repeatedly, many aging men move to developing countries for the express purpose of living their bizarre fetishes out, by targeting teen aged girls who live in abject poverty.